Dad Jokes
Our favorite Dad jokes for Fathers Day
- “I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.”
- “A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.”
- “You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.”
- “When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?”
- “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know...”
- “Do you wanna box for your leftovers?” “No, but I'll wrestle you for them.”
- “Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them.”
- “If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?”
- “What country's capital is growing the fastest?” “Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.”
- “A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'”
- “I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.”
- “Have you ever tried to catch a fog? I tried yesterday but I mist.”
- “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
- “I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!”
- “Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.”
- “I used to hate facial hair...but then it grew on me.”
- “I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!”
- “I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.”
- “You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.”
- “Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent.”
- “I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!”
- “What's the best smelling insect?” “A deodor-ant.”
- “Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!”
- “I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!”
- “I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.”